By Colby Kultgen
Top 5 Regrets of The Dying, A Thread I Read Every Year, and The Seven Year Rule
Read online / Read time: 4 minutes
Today at a Glance:
• An exercise to avoid regret
• A thread of priceless life lessons
• How to heal family dysfunction
• The Seven-Year Rule
• An unexpected power move
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An exercise for avoiding regret in life
At the start of this year, I sat down to do an exercise.
Just me, a sheet of paper, and one uncomfortable question:
If I died tomorrow, what would be my 5 biggest regrets?
Morbid? Sure.
But I didn’t want to wait until it was too late to do something about it.
So many of us live on autopilot. Telling ourselves: “I’ll get to that someday.” But someday has a funny way of never coming.
When you stop reacting to life and start being intentional, you take your power back.
Here's what I came up with:
- I wish I had spent less time online.
- I wish I had expressed my feelings more.
- I wish I had better kept in touch with friends.
- I wish I had been more connected with my community.
- I wish I hadn't let anxiety stop me from taking risks.
But that wasn’t the end of the exercise.
The real magic was in step two:
For each regret, I wrote down one action I could take going forward to prevent it.
Here's what I've implemented so far this year:
- I've consistently got my phone screen time under 1.5 hours per day.
- I've been more open with family and friends (slowly but surely making progress).
- I started a monthly book club with three of my closest friends who live abroad.
- I joined two local sports teams that meet weekly.
- I’ve committed to doing one thing every day that scares me (even if it’s small).
I know this isn’t an easy exercise. But I challenge you to carve out 15–30 minutes this week to try it.
You won't regret it! (see what I did there)
Bonus points if you send me your list.
Last week, I talked about how we need fewer 20-year-old life gurus, and more voices grounded in actual experience.
Dan Go is one of those voices for me.
He’s a father of two, a successful entrepreneur, and one of the healthiest people I know—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
But what I admire most is his no-BS approach to sharing his wisdom with others (something I strive to do with this newsletter).
This thread of life lessons is one I come back to often.
It's advice I wish I had 10 years ago, and still need today.
I know you’ll get a lot out of it too.
A quote I can't stop thinking about
Therapist Terry Real on dysfunction in families:
Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.
I always try to be transparent in this newsletter.
I firmly believe in the power of vulnerability—and if speaking the truth can help just one person, it's worth it.
With that said, I've recently been working through a lot of my childhood trauma.
What happened to me.
Why it happened to me.
And how it's impacting me now.
I'll spare you the details, but the one thing I’ve been thinking about a lot is being the one who breaks the cycle.
It’s so common to repeat what we’ve inherited (often without even realizing it).
The patterns. The silence. The shame.
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this:
Recognition is the first step toward breaking that cycle, and it’s worth doing the work to be the one who turns and faces the fire.
To stop it from spreading any further.
And I just want you to know that if you're doing this kind of work—you’re not alone.
A concept that blew my mind
The "Seven-Year Rule" from David Sparks:
Years ago, I encountered a fascinating concept in a book by the Dalai Lama: every seven years, human beings transform into entirely new versions of themselves. This idea stems from the biological principle that our bodies replace virtually all their cells over a seven-year cycle. The person you are today doesn’t share a single cell with the version of you from seven years ago.
There’s something profoundly liberating about this constant state of transformation. We often become fixated on our past: mistakes we’ve made, opportunities we’ve missed, harms inflicted upon us (and by us), or wounds we’ve suffered. But what if we truly internalized that the person who experienced those things no longer exists in a physical sense?
I recently spoke with a friend who was still dwelling on something that happened thirty years ago. “Why do you care?” I asked him. “That was four versions of you ago. That person doesn’t exist anymore. Move on.”
This perspective applies equally to our future selves. The version of you that will exist seven years from now hasn’t formed yet. So why not focus your energy and attention on the present moment?
As you read these words, you are uniquely yourself, different from who you were a moment ago and who you’ll become in the next. By embracing this present version of yourself, you release yourself from the bonds of history while simultaneously doing the greatest possible favor to your future self.
We exist in a perpetual state of transformation: cellular, psychological, and spiritual. When we recognize and honor this constant evolution, we free ourselves to live more fully in the eternal now.
Adopt the Seven-Year Rule.
You’ll be doing yourself a favor.
Source: MacSparky Blog
This actually happened to me once 😂
If you enjoyed this issue, please:
- Reply telling me why
- Share it with someone else
Have a great week!
—Colby
