1% Better: Most Underrated Skills In Life, Become a Supercommunicator, and Little Things That Aren't Little

By Colby Kultgen

Hey friends.

If you're new here, this is the newsletter where I share the 5 best things I find each week to help you get a little better each day.

Let's dive in!

Today at a Glance:

1. List: Little thing that aren't little
2. Idea: Most underrated skills in life
3. Parable: The Second Arrow
4. Video: How to be a supercommunicator
5. Visual: Go for a walk

Read time: 3 minutes 45 seconds

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A list of little things that aren't so little

This list got me thinking.

Isn't it funny how the moments that stick with us most aren't usually the big, flashy ones?

They're these tiny interactions that somehow carry so much weight.

I think we often look for grand gestures to measure how much people care. But maybe the real proof is in someone remembering your coffee order, or that extra-long hug after a tough week, or eye contact that says "I'm really listening."

The little things aren’t always so little.

What would you add to this list?

The most underrated skills in life

Last week, I was catching up with a close friend when the topic of underrated life skills came up.

The things that aren’t flashy—but quietly make all the difference.

Here are six that stood out:

1. Asking without expectation of return: This frees you from the emotional rollercoaster of anticipation and disappointment. By releasing attachment to outcomes, you can make more requests, increase your opportunities, and maintain your peace of mind regardless of the answer. Win-win-win.

2. Being selectively ignorant: "Ignore topics that drain your attention. Unfollow people that drain your energy. Abandon projects that drain your time. Do not keep up with it all. The more selectively ignorant you become, the more broadly knowledgeable you can be." — James Clear

3. Getting good at doing the boring stuff: The people who succeed aren’t the most talented—they’re the ones willing to do the dull, repetitive work that others avoid.

4. Knowing when to quit: The job, the relationship, the habit that no longer serves you. We're taught that perseverance is a virtue, but knowing when to walk away from something is just as valuable.

5. Being brave enough to suck at something new: Too many dreams die because of the fear of looking 'silly.' The discomfort of being bad at something new is the price of admission to every skill you'll ever develop.

6. Going first in life: "I always say that I’ll go first. That means if I’m checking out at the store, I’ll say hello first. If I’m coming across somebody and make eye contact, I’ll smile first. [I wish] people would experiment with that in their life a little bit. Be first, because – not all times, but most times – it comes in your favor." — Olympic champion Gabby Reece

My challenge to you:
Reply with your best "underrated life skill".

A Buddhist parable everyone should read

The idea of the second arrow has been on my mind lately.

In Buddhist psychology, The first arrow hits us when a painful event occurs—failure, rejection, loss.

Most people don’t stop at the first arrow. They fire a second one at themselves.

The rejection wasn’t enough—they add self-doubt.
The mistake wasn’t enough—they add self-criticism.
The failure wasn’t enough—they add shame.

The second arrow is our reaction to the first.
It’s the emotional wound we inflict on ourselves.

But here’s the thing: the second arrow is optional.

Regret, guilt, and overanalysis don’t change the past. They only deepen the wound.

The real skill in life isn’t avoiding pain—it’s refusing to shoot yourself twice.

Next time you’re caught in a moment of pain, pause and ask yourself:
Is this the first arrow, or am I making it worse?

A TED Talk on how to be a supercommunicator

This TED Talk from Charles Duhigg checks all the boxes for me:

✅ Fascinating topic (connecting through communication)
✅ Backed by research (grounded in studies)
✅ Easy to apply (simple shifts that work)

If you want to dramatically improve your communication skills in the next 15 minutes, watch it.

Here are 3 strategies I know I'll be applying:

1. Know Which Type of Conversation You're In

Most discussions fall into three categories:

Practical conversations (solving a problem)
Emotional conversations (seeking empathy)
Social conversations (defining identity and relationships)

When you’re frustrated that someone isn’t listening, the real problem might be that you’re having different types of conversations. Next time, pause and ask yourself: What kind of conversation are we actually having? Then match their energy.

2. Ask Better Questions—You’ll Get Better Answers

Most of us default to shallow, surface-level questions:

Where do you work?
Where are you from?

But deeper conversations—and deeper connections—start with deep questions. Instead of facts, ask about experiences and feelings:

What do you love about your work?
What’s something that changed you in high school?

3. Vulnerability is the Fastest Path to Connection

We’re wired to think that revealing our struggles makes us look weak. But research shows the opposite: vulnerability creates instant connection.

In one study, strangers were asked: When was the last time you cried in front of someone?

At first, everyone hated the idea—but after the conversation, nearly all of them reported feeling deeply connected to the other person.

A gentle reminder to go for a walk today

If you enjoyed this issue, please:

Shoot me a message telling me why
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Have a great week!

—Colby

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