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By Colby Kultgen

Trying to Win Imaginary Awards, The "No Complaining" Rule, and Ghosts in Your Blood

Read online / Read time: 4 minutes

A question I can't get out of my head

This one stopped me in my tracks.

Because the more I sat with it, the more I realized how often I fall into this trap.

🏅 Most hours worked.
🏅 Least rest taken.
🏅 Never said no.
🏅 Didn't ask for help.

If I had a trophy for every time I sacrificed myself to seem strong, dependable, or put-together—I’d need a new IKEA shelf every month to hold them.

But why do we do it?

Here's the harsh truth:​
This pursuit doesn't come from a place of ambition—it comes from a place of lack.

We chase these imaginary awards because we’re afraid.

Afraid that others will see us as unreliable, incapable, or incompetent.

So we swing hard in the opposite direction.

We overwork to look committed.
Say "yes" to everything to seem reliable.
Avoid asking for help to appear competent.

But in reality, we’re performing for judges who don't even exist.

And the only one holding us to these limiting beliefs is ourselves.

Your challenge this week:​
Name the award you’ve been trying to win that isn’t real.

But don’t stop there.

Ask yourself: What’s driving me to chase it in the first place?

When you stop performing for an invisible panel of judges, you can finally start living from a place of truth instead of defense.

A rule that we can all benefit from

Arnold Schwarzenegger on complaining:

This was a big mindset shift for me.

Think about it—when has complaining ever helped you?

Why choose to repeatedly relive a problem instead of redirecting that energy toward solving it?

And if you can’t solve it right now, you’re better off ignoring it entirely.

The science backs this up:

Adam Grant recently shared a study showing that ignoring worries can actually improve your mental health.

So, when something’s bothering you, consider these two options:

1. Take responsibility and do something to make it better.
2. Acknowledge it’s not worth your energy—and let it go.

Everything else?

Complaining, ruminating, obsessing—just keeps you stuck.

Choose action. Or choose release.

The best thing you'll read this week, month (and possibly year) - Article from George Mack​

Quick question for you:

What's the most important idea of the 21st century?

The attention economy?
The rise of artificial intelligence?
Whether or not to refrigerate your ketchup?

Not quite.

According to writer George Mack, it's something much simpler:

High agency.

George believes that people with 'high agency' are the ones who shape the world—because they don’t just accept reality as it is.

They question it.
They rewrite the rules.
They see constraints as starting points, not endpoints.

Where most people say, “I can’t do that,”​
High agency people ask, “How could I make this possible?”

Want a quick way to spot the highest-agency person you know?

Here's the test:

That’s the person.

George spent the last 7 months pouring everything he knows about high agency into one article:

• How to spot it
• How to escape low-agency traps
• And most importantly, how to build high agency in yourself

Warning: it's not a short read.

But it might just change the way you see your own potential.

A scary reminder we all need to see

I remember the first time I heard it framed like this—I didn’t even believe it.

"4,000 weeks?! No way it could be that few."

But it’s true. And once you see life through that lens, it changes how you think about time forever.

If that number alone doesn’t shake you, here’s a visual that will.

A week-by-week breakdown of the average American life—from birth to death:

Every little box is a week.
Every row is a year.

And look, I know this might sound like a downer.

But way too many people move through life on autopilot—only facing their mortality when they’re forced to.

And by then, it’s often too late to do much about it.

So here’s your friendly reminder:​
You don’t need more time—you just need more intention.

Live deliberately.
Love loudly.
Leave nothing important unsaid.

I laughed way too hard at this

.

If you liked this issue, please:

1. Reply to this email telling me why
2. Share it with someone else

Have a great week!

—Colby

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